Stilettos and Douche Canoes

 

I've stolen this from Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilletos, and if she's new to you, then head over like NOW. Like, yesterday.

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size….could definitely be enhanced. I want big boobies!

2. I’ve come to realize that my job….is completely chill. Super stressLESS.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving….I have to be talking on the phone. Don't worry I use my bluetooth. Makes my drive (anywhere) so much faster and less stressful. There are just so many cars on the road in Austin. Better be talking on the phone then cussing at the car in front of be, next to me, or tail gaiting me.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need….at least 7 hours of sleep or I am uber cranky.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost….the first Coach bag that Big Daddy ever bought me. Sssshhhh.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate....my real nails. THATS why I get solar nails all the time.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk….I can be pretty mean and sarcastic. I was told that I pretty much made some chick feel like complete shit. I mean she was trying to hit on my husband in front of me and when I told her to stop, she kept going.

8. I’ve come to realize that money….does buy happiness. I mean you should see the look on my kids faces come birthday and christmas time. :) Surely makes me happy seeing them happy.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people….are complete douche canoes! 

11. I’ve come to realize that my siblings(s)….are pretty damn spoiled. But they're great and I love them with all of me.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom….really is like my sister.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone….is my mistress. Yes I am having an affair with my phone when I am supposed to be sleeping, or cooking, or cleaning, or working.

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning….I didn't take a shower the night before, and woke up too late to take a shower before leaving for work. At least I didn't smell really bad.

15. I’ve come to realize that my first love is….black stilettos.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking about….gettin some :)

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad….had his own life and well maybe i'll get into it another time.

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook….I waste a lot of precious time that I could be using to blog or tweet :)

19. I’ve come to realize that today….I was pretty useless at work. Didn't feel like I did anything but watch youtube and catch up on my google reader.

20. I’ve come to realize that my best friend(s)….are really my sisters and brother from anotha motha.

21. I’ve come to realize that my spouse….really is one sexy ass man! (and he does kinda look like Vin Diesel)

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to do….own my own bikini shop.

23. I’ve come to realize that life….is GREAT! Seriously.

24. I’ve come to realize that this weekend….will be super busy. 3, yes 3 parties to attend on Saturday.

25. I’ve come to realize that next weekend….is payday weekend! YES!

26. I’ve come to realize that my children….are little MEs running around, driving Big Daddy absolutely bananas.

27. I’ve come to realize that when life gives you lemons….you cut them in half and juice them over cotton balls. Then dip lemon saturated cotton balls in sugar and then gently scrub your face with the lemon/sugar cotton ball. (Thanks MAMI!)