Mr. Big Baby

It all started yesterday (friday) afternoon. I met big daddy after work at his job. The training class he was in had a potluck and there was a bunch of food left over from it that he wanted me to bring home. Well anyways, he rides his bike...not motorcycle but a bike, bike...to work everyday. Well he figures, well hey, if I'm there he might as well just throw the bike in the back of the truck and just catch a ride. Well I had tank and juju with me (I had just picked them up from daycare right before meeting him). With our big hummer of a double stroller, his bike wasn't fittin so good in the back. So he said what the hell, he'll ride it home. So anyways.... I get home, and he arrives shortly after. Yes we live that close to his job. He's huffin and puffin like he usually does as soon as he gets home. Then all of sudden he starts coughing. Sun was out and everything but the wind was blowing. So I figured he was just coughing from the cold air.

So like an hour passes and he's still coughing like he's tryna get his lung out! Thats when he tells me that one person in his class has the flu and another person was getting over bronchitis. What the fuck! Sorry for cussin but hell...we have 4 children. 2 of which were just sick. And here he is just a coughing away like its no big deal.

ME: Well take some nyquil and go to bed early. You'll feel better.

BD: I need medicine. Like cough medicine. Don't got a fever, just a cough.

ME: Fine I'll go to walgreens.

So I drive to walgreens which is so CROWDED! He was being kinda cryptic as to how he was feeling so I call him to get more body feeling details.

ME: Ok there's stuff for flu, cough, nasal congestion, chest congestion...how are you really feeling?

BD: Just coughing! Damnit Nicole just get me something for my cough!

ME: Well I don't wanna medicate you for something you don't have.

BD: No fever, my body doesn't hurt. Just cough, and my throat is hurting from coughing so much. I have bronchitis. See what I need to take for bronchitis.

ME: Bronchitis huh? 

BD: Yes Nicole, I have bronchitis.

First of all, doctor, how did you come up with your diagnosis?! Second, come on its just a cough you big baby! Stop making it into something else! You JUST started coughing.

So I get him some mucinex because he sounded like he was tryna cough up phlem and mucus and junk. Standing in line to check out, my phone rings. One guess as to who it was.

ME: Yes?

BD: Get me something for the flu. Its the flu.

ME: Fine.

So I step out of line to get him some alcaseltzer (however you spell it) tabs, and some dayquil and nyquil flu.

I get home to find him on the couch lookin pitiful, coughing and hacking. I mean come on dude! If you're sick go in the room so you don't infect the rest of us!

ME: Why don't you go lay down in the room.

BD: Trying to get up but my body hurts. 

ME: Well you can't be out here getting everybody sick.

BD: Just let me be! You know what fine I'll go lay in the room!

ME: I'll bring your medicines to you.

BD: Whadya get? Stuff for bronchitis right?

ME: Yes.

So he finally goes to the room when I hear...

BD: NIICCOOOOOLE!

ME: Ya?

BD: Why am I still coughing? I took the damn mucinex and alcaselzer thing and nyquil.

ME: Gotta wait till it kicks in I guess.

BD: Whatever I don't think you got me the right stuff.

I walk out and about 15 minutes later, his ass is snoring in the bed...sweat dripping down his face. He had the tv on so I go to turn it off and he shoots up in bed and says, Hey I'm watching that before laying right back down into medicine induced coma.

So this morning he's awake at like 6 something. I get up and start getting ready for work...thats when the demanding baby started....

BD: My body aches. I can't stop coughing. Where's my cell phone? Can you get my pillow? What time do the boys wake up? Get me some water. Where's my medicines? Hand me the remote. I can't eat anything. I just want water. I never get sick, and when I do I get both bronchitis and the flu. When do you get off? Wait I have stuff to do today, I'll bring you to work. No I'm too sick and my body hurts too much.

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

MEN! JUST BIG BABIES IF YOU ASK ME!