Locker Room Talk 2 & 3

It's Saturday morning and I am sitting in my bed...this NEVER happens...EVER. The mini barbarians are in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons. Me?! I am congested and I just don't really feel like getting out of bed yet. Though I will have to soon since I am getting pretty hungry. The bacon in the bottom drawer of my fridge is calling my name ever so sweetly right now but if I wait to long it WILL start yelling. ;-)

What have y'all got going on today? We're going to a winter fair thingy at Juju's school to see santa and then after they'll continue to play and have fun while I do laundry and vacuum.

While you're sitting there drinking your coffee or tea or juice or water or bloody mary even, let me entertain you...





:-) Don't forget to "Like" and subscribe to my channel.

Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Locker Room Talk #1

I have totally caught the vlogging bug. I'm in the middle of editing my vlogging prompt by Mama Kat, but took a quick break to blog.
Since I love vlogging now, I thought I would introduce a new "series." It's called Locker Room Talk. You'll get to see some of the things that goes on inside the locker room and hopefully catch some funny moments too. So just press play already :-)

*Don't forget to subscribe too*

Hopefully I can get this blogging prompt up and 4W up by tonight. Have a great afternoon!

Talk about leaves

Guess what...I vlogged. Yup I sure did :-) Well, it's not actually me doing anything special in the video.
Just watch...it will surely make you smile



I'll be doing more videos so you should subscribe to my YouTube channel :-)

*drum roll please*

And now for your viewing pleasure...



I am vlogging! I've always wanted to vlog but just haven't. Been watching a lot of vloggers this past week and you know what...that ish looks like so much fun! So I said I am going to do it.
I plan on posting every week...maybe everyday the more I get the hang of editing and stuff. So for now, everything is raw and unedited...so basically real life :)

Do you vlog? Comment with your channel and I'll be sure to visit and subscribe :)

Enjoy!

Act 5

Juju: why is that on your face
Me: its a mask, it makes my face pretty
Juju: well I don't know about that cuz you look ugly right now
Me: I don't keep it on. I'll wash it off duh
Juju: just sayin you look weird
BamBam: (laughing) you look like a ugly and have no friends like ugly people
Me: BamBam that's not nice
BamBam: well you ugly
Me: you're ugly
BamBam: your face ugly
Me: your face ugly
Juju: just stop already you giving me a headache
Me: you give me a headache
Juju: act 5
Me: HA! you're 5

Ok so I was totally acting like I was 5...but oh so worth it! LOL

A valentine's story...

Juju brought home a letter from his teacher saying that his whole class would be exchanging valentine's during their class' valentine's day party.

ME: (*I read the letter out loud to the dudes*)
JUJU: what is valentine's day?
ME: just a day that we make known to someone how much we care about them. Yes we should do this everyday, but hey...whatever.
JUJU: what's whatever?
ME: some people like to go all out and get cards and candy and flowers for the person they love.
JUJU: boys too?
ME: sure boys too. Most boys give something special to a girl that they like.
JUJU: but I don't looooooove the girls in my class.
ME: you don't have to looooooove them to just give them something nice. We can just get everyone in your class a card and some candy or pencils or something.
BAMBAM: Juju you have to give a special gift.
ME: like what?
BAMBAM: like a special move.
ME: ok dude. like what?

This is when my sweet child puts a hand on each side of my face, looks me in my eyes, smiles, and head butts me. Yes. you read that right. Not a sweet kiss. Or a nosie (rub noses). But a head butt.
*Le SIGH*
BOYS.

Stupid dog

BAMBAM: Come on Diesel, we going to da park.

JUJU: BamBam stop screaming!

BAMBAM: Well come on Diesel.

JUJU: He can't hear you. His ears don't work.

BAMBAM: Oh they are broken. Daddy has to fix them.

ME: No dude. Daddy can't. Remember he's deaf. He had an ear infection and now he can't hear.

BAMBAM: (screaming) Come on Diesel!

ME: Dude seriously?! What did I just say?

BAMBAM: Stupid dog. Fix yo ear.

JUJU: UGH. You just don't get it.

*Shaking my head* He just doesn't get it sometimes. (LOL)

Gangster (teehee)

Dropping off Juju at school this morning...

Crossing guard: Its really windy this morning Mrs. J, where's your jacket? Aren't you cold?

Juju: Oh my my mommy is fine. She's gangster.

Crossing guard: (talking to Juju) Oh I see. Well you look very warm today. But aren't your legs cold? (he did have a jacket on but was wearing shorts)

Juju: Naw. I'm gangster too. And it gets hot. Pants are dumb. I like shorts. Makes me run real fast. Cuz you know, I'm gangster.

Obviously he gets it from his mama. LOL! That boy cracks me up!

Function table?!

In 6 days I will have a kindergartener! Super excited and a tad bit sad at the same time.
So this morning in the car we were talking about backpack:

ME: Juju, we're going to get your new backpack this weekend.
JUJU: Oh yeah? Cool. It has to have function. you know, like pockets for my stuff.
ME: You mean it has to be functionable?
JUJU: FUNCTION TABLE?! You so silly. Functions are not tables. Functions are like pockets to put my new stuff. Like pencils, my water bottle.
ME: Pockets make your backpack functionable by having pockets that you can put stuff in.
JUJU: Well ok. *mutters quietly: a function table is not even real.*
ME: No Juju, its funk-tion-able (stressing each syllable)
JUJU: Ok, ok I get it. Backpacks have function. They called pockets.

I decided to not go all dictionary on him. Smart kid, got the basic concept. Whatev...I made "that" and I'm proud to send that to kindergarten (by THAT, I of course mean him).

"It's busty today"

We got to Juju's school this morning and whoa baby. I mean it was windy when we left the house but damn!

(as we're getting out of the car, about to cross the street to go into his school)
JUJU: Its busty today.
ME: It is. Wait, huh?
(we get to the door and are walking inside)
JUJU: I said It's really busty today.
ME: Busty?! Like BUH-STEE?
JUJU: Ya. It was in dat story, I think so. (he says "I think so" after he explains something)
(we get in the breakfast line, waiting for them to open the door)
ME: What story is this?
JUJU: You know. With the bear. Um. And the bear...
ME: Oh Pooh?! You mean blustery.
JUJU: Ya das what I said, busty.
(we get our food and go and sit down)
ME: No Juju its blustery. BLUH-STIR-EE
JUJU: Oh ok. blustery.
ME: Do you know what that word means, blustery?
JUJU: Um I think so. Like the wind is crazy. Like dis...
(and he gets off his chair and starts waving his arms around all crazy like some sort of interpretive dance but on speed LMAO)
JUJU: You know. Like your hair.

So I pull my ipod out of my pocket...cuz u know, I got a mirror screen protector on it. And damn it! He was right! And all I could think of as I was trying to smash smooth my hair back down is...
this kid really did just let me walk around and NOT say a damn word about my hair standing up all over the damn place!
Freakin A!!! :)~

"Just wook at it"

STANKY: I gotta use it, I gotta use it.
ME: Well go use it.

I then hear his fat little feet run across the living room and into the bathroom.

ME: Make sure you hold it down.
STANKY: Otay mommy.

I hear him pee, stop, pee, stop, pee...

STANKY: Mommy come see. Wook at it.
ME: (walking into the bathroom) Look at what?
STANKY: My peenee. Just wook at it. Wook at it movin.

I look and there he is..."flexing" his "peenee" making it go up and down. Um ya. What the heck?! Does it really start this early?! LMAO.

"...thats just my jizz..."

So after breakfast at Juju's school, we were still sitting at the tables waiting for his teacher to come so he could line up with the rest of his class...

ME: Look at me.
(he turns to look at me)
ME: You got gucka (stuff) on you face. What is it? (I start to wipe his face with a napkin)
(he pushes my hand away)
JUJU: Mommy thats just my jizz
*insert numerous stares/glares and my Ronald McDonald red cheeks*
ME: Ummm...what?!
JUJU: You know. My jizz. My apple jizzuice.

WTF?! Really?! LOL!!! No more Snoop Dogg for you kid! ;)

"...you need to pay attention more than not."

Before we left for school, the monsters were watching one of their Thomas DVDs.

JUJU: Mommy what dat train name again?

ME: (looking at the tv for a sec before focusing back on my laptop) Umm. Rheneas (said Ree-nee-ess)

JUJU: Um I don't think so.

ME: So what is it then? And if you knew, why did you ask me what his name was?

JUJU: Its Reh-nay-us. (mind you he said it all loud and in 3 separate syllables like that)

JUJU: Mommy, you need to pay attention more than not. The man just said it. If you was payin attention you woulda heard him say dat train's name the right way and not the wrong way like you.

So ummm...did my child just call me stupid and ignorant? LOL!

This is why Thomas is a keeper

We are in Cove today at VonTrapp's house. We'll be celebrating Juju's 4th birthday when she gets home from work. Anyways...we bought a printer at Wally back in Austin last night, but when we opened the box, there were cords and stuff missing. So while in Cove, we decided to bring it back to the Wally here and get another.

(Waiting for the Wally lady to scan the printer and check the receipt---u know)

WALLY LADY: You boys are so good. So quiet.

STANKY: Ya. I soppin (shopping)

WALLY LADY (to me): Can they have a sticker?

ME: Oh totally! Look guys, stickers. What do you say?

STANKY: Tickers!! Ooh tickers!

JUJU (with his head down--sticks out his arm): Ya

ME: What do you say?

STANKY: Tank you.

WALLY LADY: You are such good quiet boys.

BIG DADDY (pointing at Juju): Today he turns 4.

WALLY LADY: Well thats good.

Mind you Juju still has his head down and doesn't even bother acknowledging her. So we thank her again and start pushing the cart to customer service.

ME: Juju, that lady was nice. What's wrong?

JUJU: I'm cross.

ME: Why are you cross?

JUJU: Because. Diesel is cross and does not like that.

ME: So you didn't like that?

JUJU: Dat lady makes me cross.

ME: Does cross mean you're happy?

JUJU: Nooooooo. Cross is angry. Just like Diesel was cross on Thomas. You know. Thomas my movie. Dat lady makes me cross um because I don't like dis sticker. Its for babies.

Well thank you Thomas the tank engine for expanding my NOW 4 year old's vocabulary.

The sun sleeps?

JUJU: Awwww mommy daddy the sun it went down.
ME: Its because its night time.
JUJU: Why is it night time?
BIG DADDY: Because the sun has to go to sleep.
JUJU: The sun sleeps? Why?
BIG DADDY: Because he's tired like you.
JUJU: But daddy I not tired. I no wanna sleep right now. Just the sun.
ME: The sun will come back tomorrow morning.
JUJU: But then the moon. Where's the moon? The moon is right there. (as he points on the car window) Where the moon go when the sun wakes up? Do it go in the closet like Stanky when him wake up?

Um...what? LMAO! OKAY! LOL!!!!

Movie night

So we spent most of the day outside enjoying the sun in the new HUGE blow-up pool we got at Walmart. After dinner, I was sitting on the couch flipping through the channels when I came across a commercial for the Incredibles on ABC Family channel...

JUJU: Ooohhh mommy Incredibles.
ME: I saw.
JUJU: Mommy I wanna watch it. Its comin next da man said so.
BIG DADDY: But Juju you have that movie in your room. You can watch it with none of the commercials.
JUJU: But daddy...its not HD.

All I could do was smile.

"Mommy, you a boy"

So Juju and I were watching Thomas the Train on DVD and looking through a magazine yesterday. I think I was looking through my Oxygen magazine.

ME: Juju, is this a boy or a girl? (pointing to some chick in an ad)
JUJU: Girl.
ME: Is this a boy or a girl? (pointing to a dude standing behind, and gawking at the girl in the ad)
JUJU: Boy.
ME: Are you a boy or a girl?
JUJU: Ima boy. Silly mommy.
ME: What about Stanky?
JUJU: Him a boy too.
ME: What about daddy?
JUJU: Daddy a boy mommy duh.
ME: What about Skinny and Milkshake?
JUJU: Dey my bubbas. Dem boys too.
ME: What about mommy?
JUJU: Mommy you a boy.
ME: No. Mommy's a girl remember?
JUJU: No mommy you a boy.
ME: Why is mommy a boy?
JUJU: We play outside wit da mud. And you work out. And you build cages. And you play cars. And we play guns. Das what boys do mommy. So you a boy duh.

Well I was told wasn't I? LOL.

Too-tay Boo-tay!

JUJU: (face all scrunched up) Oooh I smell somethin.
ME: What do you smell?
JUJU: Oooh mommy I smell my butt.
ME: Did you poop in your pants or something?
JUJU: No I too-tee boo-tee.
ME: Well thats why you smell your butt then.
(Stanky gets up from where he's playing)
STANKY: Eeewww bubba! You mate too-tay boo-tay bubba. Mommy, mommy, bubba have tinty (stinky) boo-yo.
JUJU: Sut up stanky! Das not nice.
(Stanky starts crying..well fake crying)
STANKY: But mommy, bubba sed him mate too-tay boo-tay. Him not nice.
ME: Ok, ok. Stanky go play. Juju, don't tell him to shut up.
JUJU: (under his breath) Stanky got too-tee boo-tee. Fat head.

Oh the brotherly love in my house.

My little valentine

So I'm like 6 days late, sue me. lol. Just wanted to share my afternoon...(that afternoon)

Stanky: Ello, my name is mommy belly
(as he has both his hands on my belly...making my belly button "talk")
Juju: No das not nice.
Stanky: You NO!!!
Juju: No bubba. Mommy fat don't talk. Her mouth talks.
Stanky: (giggling) Mommy fat mouth talk to mommy belly. Ello, my name is mommy fat belly mouth.

The devil I tell you! LOL!

"No mommy I not lying"

So yesterday before lunch, I was balancing our finance book while juju and stanky were playing with the rabbit. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw stanky take a toy shovel out of juju's hands...well more like yanked it out of juju's hands. Anyways juju snatches the shovel back and hits stanky with it.

ME: Juju, what did I tell you about hitting your brother?
JUJU: I no hit him mommy.
ME: Juju, I just saw you hit him. Thats called lying and thats bad.
JUJU: No mommy I not lying, I not hit Xa. The shovel hit him.

I had to smile at myself...that smart ass punk lol!